Bill Windsor evicted from Bingo Night

Bingoers say Go Away Bill WindsorGO AWAY Bill Windsor

This was written on December 28, 2023 about an event in my life in November 2016.


I forced myself to get out and drive to the office as I received an email saying I had a package.

I anticipated a few million pennies from Taylor Swift.  But there it was — a big banner announcing BINGO NIGHT.

I don’t play BINGO.

When I first moved to Florida as a member of AARP, I bought a really nice triple-wide manufactured home.  I closed and needed to rent a truck in Texas so I could move my Divorce Leftovers to my new place.  I couldn’t get Internet service for a week, and I needed to shop for the best deal.  I was told I could use the Internet connection at the Clubhouse, so I drove over.

Picture a really big room filled with tables and chairs and not a soul in sight.  I figured it had to hold 500 people.  I found a table toward the rear that had an electrical outlet within the length of a 25-foot extension cord.  I got wired up and began emailing Penske, Ryder, and U-Haul.

From out of nowhere, an old woman appeared.  She said: “I wouldn’t sit here if I were you….”

I asked why, and the UNwelcome Welcome Wagon-like Lady told me it was probably someone’s lucky seat.  I glanced around the room, and nary a person did I see.  But I didn’t want to cause any trouble, so I asked her if there was ANY one of the 500+ seats that might not be someone’s lucky seat.  She motioned to an area with an overhang just outside the restrooms.

So, I packed up and moved to a spot next to the Ladies’ Room.

I got on the phone with Penske to make arrangements.

The next thing I knew, a decidedly rude-looking old codger appeared above my laptop screen.  He said: “Sir, you’re going to have to leave.  You are disturbing the bingoers.”  I looked around and realized there had been something like the start of the 24 Hours at Le Mans.  There were golf carts everywhere and the largest assemblage of old people I had ever seen.

Bingo Night

I told Fred that I was not speaking loudly, that I am a new resident, that I was here first, that the manager sent me, that I was not using anyone’s lucky seat, and that I would be only a few minutes.  Fred said: “Sir, you’re going to have to leave.” I peered on each side of Fred and saw 1,000 old eyeballs staring angrily at me.

When I got everything loaded up, there was a 500-person standing ovation.  I pledged to never play BINGO with a bunch of old farts.  And I never have.

Bingo Night

It is kind of a Red Badge of Courage. Retired senior citizen evicted form BINGO on his first night as a senior.